First Episode "Phoebe and Jay"
It was dark and I remember having trouble seeing my surroundings.
'Where are we?'
I wondered, having no former recollection whatsoever.
It reminded me of a Warehouse or an abandoned storage hall of some kind. A big, dark hall with some stuff lying around casually.
'What the hell are we even doing here?'
I thought, realizing simultaneously that I didn't quite remember what happened upfront.
The impression of being at an abandoned place, triggered a little creepy and scary preview of what might happen.
But maybe it just appeared this way because of my blurred vision at that time.
'Dammit, I can't see!'
I thought rather angry than scared.
As I tried to remember what happened before and how I got here, I noticed a light.
Being barely able to see anything and feeling confused, I was relieved when I saw the light shining through one of the upper windows. This small effortless act of nature made the room appear more normal; leaving some of that serial killer atmosphere behind. At least the scare eased down a little, taking its friend called panic along with it.
'Is this maybe the opposite of how I should feel?'
I asked myself wondering whether panic would be more appropriate given the current situation. At least to some extent. Preferably the right amount, just high enough to trigger my survival instincts.
While I was still focused to sort all pieces together, trying to make sense out of the situation I found myself in - it happened all pretty fast.
'What, what the hell!'
I spun round and got even more confused feeling the panic rushing uncontrollably right back through my body.
'What is happening?'
I asked myself repeatedly.
'How did I got here?'
All of a sudden Jay kneels down, right in front of me, opening a small jewellery box.
Even though, I was sure to have felt his presence from the beginning, I consciously didn't know he was with me.
Before I knew what was happening, he has already taken my hand and put this huge diamond ring on my ring finger.
'What the f*ck!! Am I being punk'd!?'
I don't know if I have ever felt this panicky, uncomfortable and desperate in my life!
Apart from the fact that this was not at all how one proposes to a girl! I felt somewhat caged.
'Oh my god, I DON'T WANT THIS!'
I wasn't even asked, nor did I give my permission.
'Is this a joke. Am I awake?'
It went pretty fast from there on. As if we were standing on an assembly line.
Next thing I knew, we were sitting in a car.
Looking back, it was very odd that we haven't been speaking during this whole time; not in the warehouse and in the car neither.
I took the time to take a closer look at the ring.
'I .. I …'
The next wave of disappointment and sadness struck me.
First of all, the ring didn't look like a typical engagement ring. As if it wasn't from a jeweller, but self-made. Which can be special, but somehow wasn't for me.
I hated the stone.
I know it's a cliché and not appropriate for a strong, independent woman and feminist. But I have always known how my engagement ring should look like. And this wasn't it.
My conscience weighted heavily for feeling this way.
But an emerald-cut diamond, the worst! In my opinion at least.. And I couldn't quite figure out the material the band was made of. Steel maybe? Not polished not nothing. Even looked a little rusty?
'That is absolutely weird!
I am not an expert, so I wasn't a 100% sure whether the stones was real or not.
Much to my surprise, I was very satisfied, astonished and happy about the size of it!
'Damn, that's a rock! It must have cost a fortune.'
Still, I knew him, he was never going to spend more than 100 bucks on an engagement ring. Even thousand were way too much in his opinion. This thing I was holding must have been at least 1,5 carats, maybe 2 and there was also one smaller stone on each side.
I put the ring back on.
Meanwhile, we got to an apartment, which quite frankly looked more like an addict. As we were walking up the stairs I saw my sister standing in the middle of the room. It looked like she was unpacking.
My confusion wasn't going to end, was it..
'What is she doing here?'
She truly was one of the last people I ever expect to see. We were never really close, but in the past decade we practically stopped talking.
“THERE YOU ARE!”
She said in a happy voice.
“I was thinking ….”
She continued, waving with her hand around. Looked like she was explaining something, but I blurred out.
This was the first time anybody was actually speaking today. It's been so long! Now, after it actually happened, it appeared kinda awkward.
Even though Jay seemed to be listening to her speak, he wasn't saying a word.
'This is just all too weird. Even for me...'
I thought while just standing there, in the middle of this addict. Waiting for someone to turn to me and informing me what I was there for.
They just kept on doing their thing. By the look of their behaviour, I figured that we were going to stay there. As if we were passing through.
For a second there, I felt like being on a plane.. Why? I have no idea.
“ARE YOU ENGAGED!?!”
She screamed suddenly, out of nowhere. Though she did address the elephant in the room..
The answer left my mouth quickly. Before I had the chance to know what to say.
“Yes. You are!”
“No, I am not. Why else would I say 'no'!?”
“I don't believe you.”
She said childishly.
“I would tell you if I were. But I'm not. Why would I keep it a secret anyway?”
Seems like the fact that I apparently was engaged was a secret now. And I had no idea why.
When I thought that this day couldn't get any weirder, I realized a change.
To my surprise, I was getting used to this ring and my former disappointment was fading.
But more importantly, I felt relief, pure happiness, safe and secure.
All because of this ring.
As if this thing was radiating a magical power that was walking up my arm and spreading through my whole body.
I took a deep breath.
'This feels so nice!'
I thought. A very unexpected emotional state. Especially for someone who's always on fire, anxious, worried and having second thoughts about almost everything.
'I think I am actually...
I realized feeling so comfortable in my skin and with my surroundings, as if I am comfortably inside a cocoon. A warm feeling, filled with pure content.
'I love this ring! And I love Jay!'
I turned round and looked at him, smiling, being happy and for once, not bothered.
Not about this, not about anything.
Suddenly all turned black and I got very dizzy. At the same time Jay started to sing
“Goooooood morning love of my life!”
Still overwhelmed by the confusion what I just experienced and being torn away from a situation that felt a 100% real to me, he continued:
“Weak up sweetheart. It' s a beautiful day and time for you to get up.”